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RAPE

RAPE….

With the recent happenings all over the nation, the comments and counter claims there are some few things I have been able to pick but I will discuss just one and that is RAPE. It seems many in the time and age still do not understand the meaning of RAPE and I feel it is right to shed light on it so the ignorance is removed from our eyes. So what is RAPE.

Rape is a word for sexual assault. This is one of the worst crimes there is. Rape can also mean to plunder or strip something of resources. There are few words more powerful than rape, which is a horrifying crime. To rape someone is to force them to have sex with you.

Even the definition states clearly that it could mean to strip something of resource, something precious, something not freely given from one. It is wrong on all counts and for someone that as a sister and Niece I would not want anything to happen to them that is why it must be discussed. Rape is not just a physical act; it is also psychological and even spiritual. It can break one into a million pieces that they never get to recover.

Let me quickly state also sleeping with a minor either with the consent of the minor (under 18) is is illegal and an assault because under the eye of the law the child cannot make such decision of their own. It is time we wake up especially the male folks and empathize with those that have undergone such traumatic experience by helping them to heal and not blaming them, also it is time to show those females in our life love and communicate with them better because they are the one mostly attacked. This is not to say the male folks do not have their own fair share of it, but either the male or the female gender RAPE is RAPE and it is no respecter of gender because whoever is forced to do that which is not consented would always feel something as been broken, destroyed or taken away from them. Those sexually assaulted are not the only ones who face the effects of this dastardly act, but it is a ripple effect that touches the life of those around them, it can even affect their children and any relationship they could have in the future or presently have. It is that bad.

Some suffer mental disorder, some recluse into their shell, others feel suicide is the only option left, while others never interact normally again. Others hate the opposite gender, while others just become numb to any form of feelings. The effect is endless and is not restricted to only these mentioned above. The survivors could scream or quietly allow the monsters assault, some will never tell a soul, while others will be bold enough to let it all out. Others will seek the comfort of drugs, alcohol and the likes, while others will seek God to help them heal. It could take days or years to heal. Believe me it is horrible and that is why the survivors should NEVER EVER be ridiculed, blamed for it, treated differently or like an outcast. Instead that is when they should be shown some love even when they seem to fight it. Let us be better as humans and not feel the story does not collaborate with what is on ground. They probably have tried so hard to block it off and might forget pieces of it. Speaking up takes great bravery especially in a country where they know they would be ridiculed and shamed instead of being supported.

My advice to those that really do not know the effect, you can just shut up! But I would rather you show them love, hug them if they would accept, be there for them, do not try to explain it, you cannot, seek help from professionals who could help them get over it, once again do not blame them regardless of whatever happened. Parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and parents to be, we have jobs to look out for those we call family or friends. Show them love not just by words but action. Do not shut them up when they want to talk even if it is about the silliest of things, because for children if they know you can be trusted with that and not flare up at every chance then they can trust you with secrets, secrets as serious as sexual assault even when the predators have threatened them to keep quiet. Even if you have doubts keep quiet and investigate instead of burying them, because in the process someone it really happened to might just keep quiet forever and that would be on you. For those that it as ever happened to, you are stronger and if you have not healed, you will. You can reach out via an email oluwatobi.gakapo@gmail.com for those that have healed completely you can help the generation after you to share your truth. It is real and we must SUPPORT AS MANY THAT NEED US TO BE THERE FOR THEM. My prayer gotten from my daily devotional is simple:

               “Lord may I become at all times, both now and while life remains, a protector for those without protection, a guide for those who have lost their way, a strip for those with oceans to cross, a sanctuary for those in danger, a lamp for those in the dark, and a servant to all in need, as long as living beings exist and suffering afflicts them. May I too abide to dispel the misery of the world”.

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