LAGOS HAPPENING V….
Your guy is here again my people and it is not a funny tale this time around, I Obaz, I’m going to tell you about my ordeal in Lagos at night.
So after work this beautiful Wednesday I was heading home with two of my colleagues inside my old but trustworthy Peugeot singing and waiting to get on my bed. Then we encountered the famous Lagos night traffic but it was a constant so I was not bothered till the car started jerking and then went off. I was in shock, the sweats started forming in my pores this was the dreaded car issue you did not want to be involved in at night in Lagos. I tried kicking but my trustworthy car did not respond, I was in limbo, my thoughts were disjointed from the area boys (lout) to probably armed robbers, to how do I get the car away from that spot, to finding a mechanic at that time of the night. This was every driver’s nightmare. I kept a brave face and went in search of a mechanic after we managed to push the car to the side, by the time I came back my worst fear had been confirmed, the area boys had gathered, they were asking for money for land and I was wondering, what land? The same land that we are paying tax on? The same land that our tax payer’s money did the road? But what did they care, they were doing their own job and had to give account to Baba Isale with money for survival and bragging right. But my colleague was brave and seemed to talk them away, how he did it was a miracle. So having gotten the mechanic and he suggesting it was the battery dead, I proceeded to look for someone to rent battery from at that time of the night, I was really hoping and faithing, O! Yes you better believe it and then the HAPPENING occurred lol. A man slightly brushed another man’s car, when I mean brush they merely touched each other’s car and then like a scene from the movies they both came down, I instantly forgot my sorrows and just stood waiting for the unfolding drama, but my people I got more than I bargained for.
They came down and started arguing in the hot evening inside the Lagos traffic, late at night with work tomorrow I was perturbed on their behalf forgetting my own lol. All of a sudden the heated argument turned into blows, just like that and I was confused because both men had women whom I presumed where their wives inside the car. There was an amazing slam from one of the men, it was something out of WWE (and the instructions are do not try this at home, school or anywhere else. If only people listen). The other man was not going to take that lying down with his wife looking on, he came back with a close line of his own, trust me this was no jokes the other man fell on his bonnet. The wives decided to come out and it got even rowdier than before, one of the wives was brave enough to come between them but it was a wrong move, she got hit a couple of times before she got out-of-the-way. What caught my attention further was the fact no one was interested in separating them, even the area boys did not see profit in separating them, everyone was hot and wanted to go home. I am sure you are asking what about me? So what about me hey?! Didn’t I have my own trouble on my plate, please do not blame me if I was not going to be of much help either. After a while I was tired, I had to find a place to rent a battery. As I scouted the area for someone, my mind played back the scene, Was it worth it at all? Couldn’t one of them be the mature one and just walk away? Even if they did not feel ashamed with everyone around them what of their wives? With recession in times like this and the hike in prices was it a good time going physical with each other considering medical bills and all? All for what an inconsequential brush. These questions kept playing in my head, what if one of them got injured so bad and died? I cannot even be caught in such, the highest I would do is speak all the oyinbo in the world and go, ROBB is expensive now eeeh, even ABONIKI is not left out of the recession, Teckno if you are still doing the goodwill ambassador tell them to reduce the price for this men ooo they would need it gan, Hypertension is real, the traffic is already enough stress don’t add to it people, let it go and pray for money to spray it or even buy a new one. You all like aproko none of you even asked how I got out of that place sigh, so much for loving one another. Let me come and be going since I am not loved. If you are interested in what happened to me you can leave a comment and I will be reading to reply in my next post.
Until next time I remain your Lagos boy Obaz…. This Lagos we go make am here no be lie. Lol.
Categories: Short Stories