The hardest I have ever cried is when my youngest daughter had her breaking point at the hands of her bully. That week of my life made me feel like the worst father in history.
My daughter is socially awkward, meek, shy, and has trouble making friends. Her only interests are Art and Tennis. She’s never had many friends and really didn’t seem to care. That’s what I thought.
In her freshman year in High school, she met the Bully that would change school policy on bullying. This incident happened when My child was in the school library. The library is supposed to be bully proof, like a sanctuary. But not on this day.
She’s quietly drawing with her friend. And out of nowhere she gets smacked from behind on her right ear with baby powder. And of course it was the bully. It was supposed to be a prank.
This time it went too far. My child got knocked unconscious and taken to the hospital with a serious concussion.
I get the call and race to the hospital with bitter rage. I’m met by the police, the principal, the school nurse, and the guidance counselor. They were all in her room. I walk in and see my child sleeping with tubes coming out of her nose and arms. I couldn’t talk. I was shaking with anger.
The principal and the police explain to me that they have video evidence, and the bully has been arrested.
Three days later my daughter came home from the hospital and all that I thought I knew about her was only the surface.
We’re sitting on the couch watching TV. I go into the kitchen for something. I come out of the kitchen to see her face wet with tears. She’s not wiping her face, there is no facial expression, no sound. Just a constant flow of big tears. Tears with no sound means deep emotional pain. Especially from a 14-year-old girl.
I grab her off the couch and give her the biggest HUG I have ever given her and tell her that I love her and will always be there for her. Only this time, she felt different.
We sit down and I’m trying to tickle her side to get a smile. NOTHING! After some time She finally starts talking. “I just want this to stop, I’m sick of it” OMG! This has been going on all this time?!?!
She begins to detail the horrors ever since elementary school. I’ll list only a few.
- She’s been called Ugly
- They hide her books
- They steal her material
- They push and shove her
- Cut her in line
- Put buggers on her shirt
- One boy who sits behind her cut her hair without her knowing.
Some things they did were disgusting so I won’t list them. At the end of it all I still wasn’t crying. Until she said this.
“How come no one likes me, what did I do?”
That’s when I lost it. I tried to hide it because I can’t cry in front of my children. I felt weak, my heart pounded and I waited to speak so she wouldn’t notice my voice cracking.
I tell her to go take a shower and we’ll go to the mall and walk around. That was just to get her to walk away so I could go to my room and try not to cry. As soon as I got in my room I felt a fear in me that I can’t explain.
I wanted to trade places with her. I wanted to absorb all her pain, I wanted to kill the bully, I wanted desperately to help her in any way. I blamed myself. Someway somehow it’s my fault.
Why didn’t I notice something? I should have never gotten divorced. Her mom should still be here. I need help!!! It’s too much for me.
I cried so much that my eyes got swollen and my throat got hoarse. Until that day and a few days after, I can’t remember ever crying like that.
After about an hour I open her room door to see my middle daughter holding my youngest while she slept.
Despite the bully’s family asking me not to press charges, I went ahead and pressed charges, and she got six months probation for assault.
My child never went back to school, never wanted to go to school, couldn’t go to sleep, couldn’t eat, and started to hate. Something that I never saw in her.
There wasn’t much I could do. My desperate attempts to get her to smile and liven up became silly. So I signed both of us for Art classes, and she began to show signs of joy.
I later found out that the guidance counselor was my daughter’s shoulder to lean on. Mrs. Sarver was very nice and always helped her in trying times during school.
Mrs. Sarver came over to visit one day with a bunch of letters, and art work from supporting students. I stood back thinking that my child does have friends! I was wrong.
She sat down and went through every piece of paper, threw out all but two envelopes. A large piece of very good Art work, and a letter.
They were from “PAIGE”, her only friend. That was the first time I saw her smile in a month.
I enrolled her in a private school the following year where she is doing very well. And despite her psychiatrist’s suggestion, we will not be using any pills.
My people bullying is real and can turn children into vengeful, hateful people, it is in the best interest of all to stop bullies, by talking to our kids more and if we have a bully has a child, don’t turn a blind eye and support this attitude, instead correct and discipline if you have to in love though, and let the child know why. Bullying children become bullying, hateful, disrespectful adults, bullied children become hateful, easily angered adult and both set of children can turn murderers if unchecked. The bullied can be suicidal also and see everything negative and wrong with the world. The way we raise up our kids now goes a long way in determining the kind of adult they would turn out to be and if we have failed as parents in making the world a better place than we left it or worse. It is a collective effort. Stop the act, educate those involved in love.
Writeup Source: Quora Gerry Sankara
Picture source: Google
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